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Kara Williams
Freelance Writer |
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Mountain Parent Forever Family By Kara Williams Carolee Bolitho, the mother of five children ages five and under, can’t help but cry when she talks about her family. It’s not because she’s frustrated, exasperated or exhausted chasing after a handful of kids (although she might be a bit sleep deprived). It’s because she’s in awe—and in love. “A lot of people have dreams and desires that aren’t realized,” she explains. “We know we were put on this earth to raise these children. I can’t help but wonder: what did we do to deserve the privilege of having a second family?” Carolee and Scott Bolitho’s “second family” consists of Whitney, 5, Corey, 5, Alayna, 4, Jonah, 3, and Isaiah, 4 months. Whitney was the first child the Bolithos adopted when their sons by birth, Michael, 23, and Ryan, 20, were sophomores and juniors in high school. “It’s this elusive ‘girl thing,’” says Carolee, 44, of her wish to adopt when her sons were teenagers. “I kept praying and hoping my desire for a girl would go away. But it didn’t. There was a hole.” The first adoption Carolee logged on to ABC Adoptions, and with Scott’s blessing, entered some of their personal information and waited. “We thought maybe they’d call us in a year,” says Carolee. “We found out about Whitney in just six days!” The couple traveled to Utah to pick her up when she was four days old. Through the “adoption hotline” listings on www.abcadoptions.com, Corey came to live with them seven months later when he was two days old. “They are like twins,” says Carolee of Whitney and Corey. “They have an incredible bond.” The older Bolitho siblings, Michael and Ryan, who now live in San Diego, also have a special connection to Whitney and Corey because the boys lived at home when the babies arrived. “Our boys stepped up more than we ever could have asked of them,” says Scott, 45, a partner at Glenwood Insurance Agency. “There would be a bunch of teenage guys hanging out in our basement, and they’d come upstairs and bring down the two babies to play with them. It was such an incredible thing to see.” Not quite done yet The Bolithos considered international adoption briefly, filling out a pre-application form to adopt from overseas. Even though they later decided not to go that route, their paperwork was still on file when an adoption professional contacted them about taking in Jonah from Korea, who was more than a year old. “It was so hard for us to say no to this child who was continually passed over,” says Carolee. Soon after Jonah arrived on the scene, Whitney prayed for a sister who was “brown like me.” Whitney traveled to Houston with Carolee to pick up Alayna, who was three. “And then Scott thought there should be one more little black boy in our family,” says Carolee, who met baby Isaiah in Oakland, California, when he was hours old. Is their family now complete? Both parents grin when asked that question. They agree it would be nice for Jonah to have an internationally adopted sibling. After all, the kids form their very own support group. “These children were put in our family for a reason,” says Carolee. “They have all gained and lost the same things.” Members of Trinity Baptist Church, the Bolithos say their faith—“central to our lives”—has played a huge role in how their family came together. “There have been many children who have been made available to us,” explains Carolee. “But we feel our children are the ones that God put together for us.” Facing hurdles The Bolithos haven’t been without challenges since adopting five children. Corey was diagnosed with high-functioning autism. Whitney cries for her birth mom. “She says, ‘I just want to tell her I love her,’” shares Carolee. “Of course that’s the one mother we don’t have any contact with.” Alayna and Jonah were likely abused as infants and toddlers, and have had some trouble learning to trust. The Bolithos hired an attachment specialist to teach them how to parent such children. “We needed to help them overcome their fears,” says Carolee. “To help them learn that yes, this is for real. We are their forever family.” While Alayna and Jonah may have tested some limits when they were figuring out their place in the Bolitho family early on, they seem quite secure of their spot now. There are a lot of “I love you’s” back and forth among all the family members. Plus, the kids often climb up on Mom and Dad’s laps, kiss baby Isaiah and play together cooperatively. “The four oldest ones are so close in age, they play really well together,” says Carolee, who drives a minivan with five car seats in it. “They are very self-sufficient. When I say it’s time to go, they can get on their shoes and their coats and get themselves buckled in.” Different skin tones When the family is out and about in the Roaring Fork Valley or traveling throughout the West (the entire clan went to Hawaii last year!), they get plenty of approving glances and smiles. “I have friends in the South with mixed-race families and it’s just not the same,” says Carolee. Scott adds, “Some people watch us for a while, and then come up to us and say, ‘Your children are so lucky to have you.’ But we are the ones who are blessed—to have been given the opportunity to raise them.” The Bolithos didn’t start out looking for minority children to adopt. “We just wanted to add another child to our family,” Carolee says. While waiting lists for Caucasian infants might be pages long, African-American children are often overlooked. “I wish the world were more color blind,” Scott says. “If people wanted to do this, they could be matched tomorrow.” |